We're drawing to the end of semester two, and Iain has asked us all to come in for a chat, to see where we are, have come from, and think we are going...All of a sudden I got nervous...what have I done? what am I doing? where am I going? (I do have all the answers, it's just I need confidence to say what they are, without fear of being told they are too simple, or wrong)
Iain is great at getting the best out of me, he's constructive, interested and helpful. He is also critical, in a friendly way! His invaluable advice today was that I do need to understand why (or where) my art is made. What is it that I want to show, discuss, say...why should I have squares generated from a web cam feed, why should I hide the technology behind traditional art materials...what is that all about? - I do know, and as Jo and Tom had said, during my crit with them in front of the "you and I" show - "You need to find your language"...Think about what the work is about, what issues am I raising, what comments am I making, and here's the tricky part, to explain that, with out being descriptive (physically) or prescriptive, and not leaving the work to explain its self, or leave the mystery (the "game") open for people to engage and see what they will. Context, isn't about "who else made something like this?" or "where are the ideas rooted, arrived from art movements / practitioners" it's all about understanding why this work should have been realised, what the work is about (conceptually) and my feelings round the work(s).
Iain is slightly worried that I am concentrating too much on trying to "catch up" with my art history (contextualisation)...I show him my stack of fat books, and he's in agreement that "it's a good idea to do it" but is worried that it's detracting from my actual "practice" but I do tell him I am working on a few projects (Actual making things, as well as generating ideas / concepts). He's happy that I am taking the reading on board, when he can see I am also "slugging away" at making my own art. It's the funny thing about making / creating "art", I was asked by Iain, "I need to know that your ideas generation will be self sustaining", and as I'd said to Gabi and Susie, it's hard to explain that "he day the ideas dry up, is the day I die" (sounds pompous and overly confident), but I do honestly feel that every day I am alive, I see the potential to represent my experience through a creative output, be it design, painting, sculpture, installation, programing, writing...talking! I do in an academic sense, need to prove this. You can't give an answer "trust me" here!
On the whole, my biggest weakness is that I am still too literal in my talking of my work (and others). I need to think more "outside the box" to take in bigger themes, wider (no-specific) ideas. I can't think of everything, but I can start to delve a little deeper into the concepts behind a work...unlike Roy Walker, it's not "say what you see"...it's "say what you feel".
It's hard to know where to draw the line, I need to talk about themes and issues, but I also need to stop "tying it down". I still need to know myself why I make art, it can't be "just because it looks nice / interesting"...first and foremost, an artwork needs to exist because it says something, it holds a distorted mirror up to a subject pertaining to life experience. It's hard to know whether a concept must come first, and then a realisation through ideas (sol lewitt : The concept and idea are different. The former implies a general direction while the latter is the component. Ideas implement the concept.). I do have strong ideas, but do I have strong concepts? what is the drive for my work? I need to answer these questions before the end of semester 2...two weeks away.
Listening to : swans - filth : miles davis - bitches brew
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