back again! - start of semester 3

Hello,
It's been a while.
I've had my marks back, and they were ok, I've passed, which is great, but my marks were down on semester 1, the only one in the class to "get worse"...but, I must confess, I feel quite lucky to get two 4's - I know I did not put enough in to semester two, as I did for semester one.

This has made me realise, I need to far more committed to semester three, I mean REALLY COMMITTED. I've spoken to Gabi about the need to be at uni more, to focus wholely on my studies over the next three months. If I don't, there will not be much point in doing this MfA. The mission is to pass, but also to pass with flying colours. I need to show that I am justified in taking this course, and not just having it as a fantastic year off work.

anyway, I am about to embark on completing the proforma - to define what my special study will be about. I have been thinking about the relationship between using hi-tech and low-tech forms of communication to explore the relationship of our place in the natural world.

listening to : slayer - season in the abyss : lauren hill - the mis-education of lauren hill

Life drawing 2

After a day of working on my critical analysis and reflection for the studio practice hand in (next monday), I head to Susies for round two of life drawing.

After the fear of last week (not having drawn "properly" in such a long time), I head to mill farm with a bit more confidence. I was pleased to see even the development and improvement through last weeks time, this week was no different.

Again, the five minute poses do not relax me, I get tense and worried (concious) of the time slipping away. Again, I deftfully put down about 3 lines, that don't look like much - I am dissapointed.
We get our first stab at a 30 minute poase, and David (the model) is excellent, I start to relax, and get intot he drawing again. Using the charcoal is so forgiving, the lines are more expressive, non technical compared to a sharp pencil, I relax with the medium ( I used to dread it, a nice sharp 2b used to do for me).
I've even learned (or forced myself) to draw the entire form, before getting stuck on "detail". Old life drawing used to be faces, with a few thin lines spreading from the neck...now, they are explansive, using all the paper. It's amazing that even the unmeasured (on purpose) drawings "make sense".

Susie is using wax "blindly" and then applying washes of watercolour - highly expressive and the complete antithisis of my analytical approach. The outcomes of all the artists (alan florrence, Ana Ladd, Susie Hunt and myself) are completely different, it's amazng to see the array of styles and techniques. It's also comforting to know that we all work well under ouwn own pace and methods - no competition or posturing. We all evaluaet (kindly) each others work. I've particuarly enjoyed talking to alan about his work, he by his own admission is "no drawer, kain" - but some of his work is highly spontaneaus and lively, but some laboured and over worked (he's a smudger, and I said that I prefer the areas without smudging, but he keeps doing it!)

An enjoyable and relaxing (in the end) night!

I nearly run out of petrol on the way home. but dont...thankfully.

Listening to : the bug - pressure : ministry - Side Trax (compilation of side projects, rev co, 1000 homo djs, pailhead etc)

Handed in written work

Well, Susie, Mary and I head in to uni together, to hand in our written work. We don't go to much into showing each other our essays...it's too late for that (!).

The ladies are worried about the volume of written work I have to show, and there is me thinking I was thin on the ground (mind you, the old addage of "quality not quantity" could duff me up...holdon, it's quality and quantity! (honest)).

We also agree to hook up on thursday to help tidy up the room (without going too close to the painting hell that is the end of the room...)

I head to the library while susie and mary go swimming, and find many interesting things in some design magazines (eye, creative review). I particularly liked the iWant design feature and Kim Hiorthoy talking about LP / CD design.

I took a photo of the iwant design, I thought that Gabi would particularly like it (and did).

I also got a phonecall from a rather happy deputy head of kingswells primary school - they have had such brilliant feedback and exposure because of the sculpture classes (a parents night was particularly memorable she said, as most of the parents loved what their children had learned and brought home...)

anyway, the upshot was, she wanted me to come back and hold several more classes, for p4's this time...I agreed and will be holding 3 classes in one day (?!) on wednesday the 30th of May...for the "eco week" in Kingswells primary school.
brilliant news.

listening to : godspeed you black emporer! - F# A# (Infinity) : Elliot smith - new moon

Finished essay

Well, I finished my essay for the semester 2 hand-in. From the guddle that was my "imaginary exhibition - quadrum", I'd completely changed tack, and written a far more traditional response, based on my experience and thoughts on the seminars I've attended. Iain Irving was instrumental in solidifying and directing me to this descision. He liked the idea of the "imaginary show", but felt that this task was not the place for such an Idea. After reading what I had, and what I have now, I completely agree. The essay spiraled into 3000 words, to which Iain said not to worry about. It's amazing to see how quickly words add up. The brevety and narrow scope one must impose is phenominal to get a point across, and argue it. (including citations etc!)

Listenign to : OM - variations on a theme : OM - conference of the birds : PSI performer - remixes (scorn, surgeon, 310 etc)

bastard busses

Susie and I head in to Gray's for 10am, to find Mary talking essays to Iain, we try to join in on a group discussion, but Iain deftly steers us into one on one's...so we wait for Mary to finish...2 hours later, Susie is up for review, and she needs to leave at 1.30 (for her class), when 1.30 rolls round, Susie leaves and Iain goes for his deserved late lunch.

2pm, and I nervously showed Iain my essay so far, I was worried that he would criticise it for it's over simplicity, or over reaching huge questions in my introduction (what is art? what is it for? and who is it for?).

Needless to say, Iain tentatively starts reading, he takes his time, pouring over every word and nuance, he often chuckles and mumbles "yeah"...I take that as a good sign! - we often break into discussion about the essay, about the questions I've raised, which spiral off into our usual talks about perceptions, context and tastes, always parabolising our points with music analogies (I'd found that Iain used to work in a small indi record shop when he was a lad...just like I did, we had some great stories to swap (and similarities in experience!) I do like a good natter with Iain, we can talk about babies, kids and tunes in one breath then existentialism and contextual analysis in another, if only we had a pint...)

The criticisms he gives me, are that the intro to the essay is weak on validation from external source / proof (it's mostly based on my opinion (gathered from experience, but not conveyed solidly enough)) I need to read : Believing is Seeing by Mary Anne Staniszewski (ISBN-13: 978-0140168242). Iain tells me of Staniszewski's points reflect my ideas, of art's values, purpose etc. (I take it out from the library after my meeting...so I need to read it before I finish my essay...before Monday... ho ho) I also need to watch my language, when I lapse into conversational style, or sarcasm, I need to keep the tone professional and scholarly, (which is "just" a case of translating my "point" into something more considered, or factual). I also have to be aware of the use of names, I've dropped into first name basis ("jo and tom" - "craig and Ross")...so keep it to surnames, and I'll be fine. (this, my blog, it aint).

I also need to understand the Vancouver referencing system too, when I use quotes, I need to correctly reference them in my document, to validate it, to add gravity to my arguments (after all, it is an essay for an academic response).

The positives are that the essay is concise, it is eloquent, when I discuss the seminars I've been to, again, I just need to liberally sprinkle in some referenced back up).

I felt rather relived, no drastic re-write, no starting from scratch. It's good to hear some criticism along with some "good points", always more motivational than being talked down to.

My phone ran out of battery, I only had spare change enough for one phone call (which I got the house answering machine), and change only enough for one bus ride...so I walked to Hazelhead from Gray's, that took a good hour and a half, only to wait for one of Aberdeen's wonderful busses, with drivers that brim with joy and hapiness, in their job of serving the public...I get to a buss stop, wait 20 mins (in rushour, in the rain)...20 mins...in rushour? is that because the oh so helpful "park and ride" accomodates the people who need to commute in rush hour, "every 15 mins". next, the joyful driver (helpful as ever) (me) "is it 1.30 to kingswells?" (driver) nods. (me) "thank you sir" ---------------
I fucking hate busses and the fuckers that drive them. they are expensive (no wonder no one uses them - put 1/30 in my car, and I am sure you can travel further, more comfortable, faster and to the door. "ah, but the poluition" piss off. London has a brilliant system, cheap, frequent and clean. why can't we? I'd use them more often....

rant over.
listening to : kyuss - queens of the stone age : various - min to max (richie hawtin compilation)

life drawing

I was invited by Susie hunt to go to her studio to try life drawing (it's been approx 15 years since I last really executed a life drawing...)

anyway, It was quite an amazing experience, my heart was actually racing. Susie had set the "rules" to get warmed up, we'd (4 of us) do several 5 minute drawings. It's amazing how short 5 mins is, when holding a stick of messy charcoal. I'd actually drawn 2 lines in 5 mins...good lines, expressive lines, but I was very surprised at the quickness.

We'd worked on about four 5 min poses, and my hand got used to drawing again, some lines and drawings were ok, but most were rusty, I was battling with the need to get specific, to put down bold, finalised lines, regardless of proportion etc...

at one point, I started to doubt my ability, scrubbing and rubbing out lines that just didn't belong on the page, making a scrubby rubby mess, which furthered my mood...(like a black smudge itself!)

we then embarked upon some 20-40 min poses, and this is where I started to relax, and take my time, I tried varying techniques, pencil, charcoal, white pencil on black paper etc, and my hand started to flow in a way I was happy.

My last drawing (posted) I felt was a success, some areas are well executed, the "whole" doesn't quite work, technically incorrect around the left shoulder, but not bad for not doing it after 15 years.

One great aspect of the evening was the focus on looking, the pleasure of following my eye / brain / hand. I'd commented it was a pleasure to watch a line trace round a page, guided by my hand to reveal a drawing that "worked". It did become natural, like I understood the rules of what to do, like riding a bike I guess. (much like me starting skateboarding again, I might not be the best in the world, but I can still rattle out the skills when needed), a confidence boost in all departments.

Nice surprise

From yesterday, I'd talked to Iain about my worries of my "quadrum" idea, when I'd started writing this "fiction" it just didn't sit right with me, it didn't seem like me writing it, it was forced, trite and thouroughly rediculous...so I wobbled. Or should I say, I critically analised my creative output, and realised it was shite.

I'd received a fantastic email from Iain, calming me down, and being very constructive in what I should be doing with this essay. Write about my perceptions, understanings and experience, based on the seminars (after all, that is what the task is!), write about my work, in context to the other practices I have seen, write about shows and curated events I have witnessed.

So, I started from scratch and ended up writing 500 words as an intro to my position, my nderstanding of the "art world". I'll post the finished article...when it's finished.

We (Susie, Mary, Jonathan and I) headded to Mary's to discuss what we had all written so far. Jonathan's (finished) essay is a masterpiece of elloquence, brevity, insight, contextualisation and good old brilliant English. (that is wot is good to me n youz). My only comment to him, is that most of his references rely upont the reader knowing who it is he's talking about, he can deftly drop in names, reference spcific works, but doesn't quite flesh out the reasons as to why he has used them, but, we were only read snippets, so on the whole, the essay itself might answer those concerns...Mary has her usual riddle approach...it's hard to describe her style, it's like a story, or a tale loaded with metaphor and double meaning, it's a pleasure to listen to , but sometimes I don't get the points, knowing chuckles from Susie and Jonathan at specific points make me realise, I am missing the point. I love the language, I love the dream like quality of her writing, it's a pleasure to listen to, but is it factual? (does it have to be?! - so many points of view...I wouldn't like to be marking these!) Susie...has written bugger all, so I feel better for "only" writing 500 words.

I read my intro out, and I get a few responses that make me feel like I've got the point. Like I've actually hit a mark in the realm of MfA thinking (we're always our own harshest critics)...The biggest comment is that Mary thinks it sounds "chippy" (angry, or bitter, cynical in some way). I didn't get that myself, but I wrote it, so I can only see it for what I think it is (funny thing perception!))

ANYYYYWAY...we all left feeling confident, Jonathan and Mary, for the positive we all agreed were good writing excersises, Susie - as she'd taken a lot from hearing how we're all aproaching the task, and me, because I got the vibe that I'd hit upon a decent "interesting" area to discuss...

Gabi, Poppy and I popped along to the Aberdeen Artists opening, to quickly zoom round for a swatch...the nice surprise is that Susie and I's video had been given a "reccomendation", which is fantastic!

so, onwards and upwards...

listening to : sun Ra - space is the place (thanks jonathan)

PS, The election results were a shambles, because of the electronic counting. Who'd have thought it? (oh, I did yesterday!)

broken pixel

Today is voting day, and it's got me thinking. I've voted, it's my duty (whether I believe ANY of the parties or politicians), I had thought of spoiling my ballot paper, but I didn't...but, it did get me thinking about polite rebellion, defiance and disdain*. It is also interesting to hear that this election will be the first time that "electronic counters" are being used, which will funnily enough SLOW the process of counting votes (!?). This sounded absurd to me, why invent a system that SLOWS a known working process? My logical brain told me, it would be slow this time, as they want to make sure it works, to "test" the machines...which then got me thinking...should they not have tested it on a "grand scale" before now? I also noticed that the ballot papers were to be marked with pencil! It’s an interesting interface from the crudest of mark making "X" (the classic mark of an illiterate person’s signature), with one of the most basic tools know (a pencil), to be then fed into a "cutting edge machine", a clever computer that can count X's (IF the ballot paper was put in the right way, IF the X was put in the right place, IF the X is dark enough to be read, IF the ballot is not folded...that's just the tip of the iceberg). Is it no wonder people are sceptical of machinery, especially when it comes to important matters of human governance. If you cast your mind back to the US elections, when "voting machines" were rolled in, instead of the "tried and tested" (for centuries) hand counted methods...It emerged that the makers of the voting machines, actually sponsored the Republican Party! (and that's just the tip of the iceberg...Déjà vu?). I am sure there is a system that can count votes quicker than humans, but does this all not boil down to one question...why do we need to know any result "quickly". It's not cancer; it's not a dose of Ebola! We've had elections for hundreds of years, and people EXPECT a true and honest result, no matter how long it takes to count, and Scotland is only a wee place! The counts last no longer than 10 hours, and what's that in the grand scheme of things? This perpetual need for "progress" (read: speed) confuses matters surely. The race is on (to win what, I don't know). Speed = Efficiency...does it? it also equals DANGER, MISSING THE MARK, OVERSHOOTIN...we all remember the Hare and the Tortoise story of our childhoods, take your time, and you will finish (and you can take in the view too!)

I have also read a few scientific stories on the BBC today, one of a giant 40 storey tower in Seville, that harnesses the energy of the sun, reflected by 600 gigantic mirrors and how "natural techniques" in "build" of snowflakes and tooth enamel is shaping the future of more efficient and faster computer chip technologies. These technologies are exciting, also very interesting that nature plays the main role in both. It's interesting that the Spanish tower's "downside" is that the electricity is 3 times more "expensive" than "regular" electricity...what is cost? How much more expensive is carbon emmission in the future? what is the price of clean energy NOW valued against the killing of our environment? again, this all boils down to humans short term needs and values. It's perpetuated by the american ideaology that either "god" will look after us (Who's god? I don't think the Christians would have a problem saying "mine" and neither the Muslims!) OR, that "technology" will save us, and here is me talking about how our new technologies need to look to nature for more elegant and efficient solutions! how can a man made system or machine "fix" a system (or "machine") that is so much more complex than we can ever understand, comprehend or even respect. I'd watched the BBC news, where a story about moth numbers that are in decline in Scotland, and the presenter almost scoffing at the idea it even mattered, which made me angry. It's the lack of understanding of how complex an eco-system is, that every unit of life within it MATTERS, the idea that "oh well, no more holey jumpers" if the moths die...People forget that moths pollinate plants, are food for birds etc... Because people can't see that it matters, they can't see "an affect" in their lives, they discount it...again, a very Republican / Right Wing Christian stance (these are the people that deny "evolution happens" (because they can't see it), yet blindly follow a story written 1500+ years ago about "unseen things" in the name of god. Difference being, that scientific rigour and analysis pretty much proves the evolutionary theory to be "a law" and that biblical "happenings" are left to "faith" (or a governing body (the church) to tell people how it is, without rigorously testing their "findings")...boy oh boy is this a rant!

Within the new Frieze magazine, I read of an artist ( Tommy Støckel )that combines computer technologies (programing, nets and plans) with "lo-fi" outputs, that is creating paper / card "models" from the printouts, often combining complex mathematical formulae (fractal / geometrical) with simple "cut and assemble" techniques (a patient child could make these objects), but that's where the "art" steps in. Tommy's execution is a bridge between the two worlds of complexity and simplicity. Mass is impressive, collation is confusion, yet elegant and simplistic. When confronted with 100+ shapes of the same form, but in differing sizes, the eyes are bombarded with new forms, patterns to disseminate and objects to identify and single out. The brain is treated to a game, a tantalising opportunity to see maths "take form". Rules, patterns, scales and shapes collide to form pleasing, yet intriguing sculptures. The materials form a bridge between a yesteryear of "craft" (likening it to an old cut out from a kids comic book, to build and "own") and with the highly technical means as to its entry into this world, via computers and programming. It's something I am interested in, an "interface" to present people forms and workings of "unknown" or mysterious technologies. It is interesting to look at where technology becomes a blockade to acceptance of it, when technology is "not helpful" because of its impenetrable or cold position in our world of soft, human, organic needs…

The broken pixel came to me when thinking about all these systems. A "broken pixel" is a new phenomenon on a lap top / plasma screen, where a pixel in the display ceases to work (show anything). It's quite a subversive thing, such a small "glitch" can cause such an annoyance, one little square that should flicker and pulse with light, stubbornly refusing to display anything other than black. It's secretive too, it is being fed information, but refuses to disseminate and display / convey that information. I liken it to a hermit, refusing to respond to social impetus, imagine how many "broken pixels" it would take to change a system, to make sure the system fixes, or accounts for broken pixels? I think there might be some work come out of these thoughts...

listening to : joanna newsome - Ys : young gods - XXY : equations of eternity - EOE