difficulty writing questions

I wake up; knowing that time is of the essence (because of my stupidity in setting such a tight deadline for getting out a questionnaire)...

I get despondent about my task...again, I start to doubt my ability - but cling to the knowledge that the subject is interesting - and people have responded to it because of its interesting qualities...It's a good thing I do say things in public, this gives me the solid reason to commit to seeing it through. Talking about things is all well and good, but following up with actions surely makes the difference! we're learning about professionalism in the MFA...I've got my "processes" down, Documentation, eloquent emails, etc (all can still be polished and refined), but I feel that my practice lacks in solid evidence of execution. I've produced many design / video works for clients and friends, stuck to deadlines and communicated intensions, developments and outcomes...so I just have to apply it to my "artistic practice"....thing is, I've never had such a critical scrutiny in my design work as I have in my art, thanks to the level of intensity the MFA provides.

It's funny that I just get on with my design, I know what I do, and I have the ability to produce high quality work to a finished level...but, that's not good enough for the likes of Steve and J&T...and probably isn't if I were to apply a masters level to my design practice...

I am finding it amazing, and such giant leaps in understanding are taking place. Even from the end of semester 2 to jst after my last conversation with Iain, I have really started to click with what it is the "special study" is about.

Again, I think back to the professionalism, dedication and research needed to operate at the masters level. I know I am on the right track for my work now. I live to create work from opinion and experience, that's where the work comes from within me. I go for a walk int he woods, and I FEEL something, I want to SAY something about that experience. If it is gathering sticks and making a focus out of them, that's what I do. If it's photographing a tyre track in grass, I do that. I now understand that it's the context in which I react to the situation that is important. It’s the why, not the how (we're all great at "how" to make art...but no ton the why's).

I am also wrestling with the need to "not answer questions" with my art...I always will, perhaps, because of my logical / design part of the brain, occupying the same half as my arty side! I have been given the confidence to explore both aspects by Iain, his encouraging talks do give me a sense of direction, without being "prescriptive".

I feel the idea of collating others opinions to react to, to create works from is just what I've been looking for. Charlie Hackett's seminar is turning out to be quite influential on me. I'd put the point to him that "truth" is subjective, and how can he "trust" the participants to answer truthfully..."It doesn't matter to me" was his answer, and that's the difference between a Scientific / quantifiable survey / set of questions, and an artistic one. It's the fuzz, the greyness, the human fallibility that is committed to paper that is more interesting than scaled, predefined opinions (1 - 10) and yes no answers, so coke can sell you more drink or so "they" know where to charge more money for council tax...

If the questions I produce are deep, meaningful, interesting and engaging...perhaps just the list of them is "the work" along with my findings, presented in some form, picking up on anonymity or political / religious bias...(left / right) (up / down).

it's exciting, but I still need to get these questions down...tomorrow...I promise (there I go again!)

listening to : ui - iron apple : aberfeldy - young forever (thanks gabi....grumble grumble)

edinburgh - dinnertime..that's it

Today we need to pick up paintings from Edinburgh (Gabi's mum dropped them off...so it's only fair).

I drive, and try to think of the questions to ask in the questionnaire...Gabi helps by writing them down.

I just get frustrated, it's not the best idea concentrating on driving and probing, deep, thought provoking questions, to find out about truth and trust...I get fairly angry with myself, and start to doubt my quest...I was so stoked with the response, I can't let people down (?) because they all seemed so keen to participate.

when we get to Edinburgh, we find the pick up point of the paintings easily, and head to Leith Walk, for lunch with Susie’s Beaslie (a very knowledgeable friend of Gabi's who works in a university, checking and collating research material!...questionnaires!).

Susie gives me excellent advice on how to create questions, and firstly to create a test (first draft) and release it to a small amount of people - for sense checking and feedback. I wouldn't have done this without this conversation.

Poppy seems to attract all the Italian waiters, she's going to be a heart breaker... he he.

we spend 2.5 hours having lunch! and we've got no time to see Edinburgh (got to leave early, to get Poppy home, as the bridge is being maintained, and the queues are horrid)...

I start to bash out some questions when I get home, but my brain isn't up for it...

listening to : many tunes on the creative mp3 player...love shuffle, it's the best.

questionnaire - start

Before I write a lengthy questionnaire, I need to find out if people (I know and don't) are willing to participate. I've drafted a probing email, for my friends and colleagues, as well as an "open invitation" on a local music discussion forum. In one day, I've had about a 90% positive response from my email list, 19 people from the "open invitation" have contacted me, saying they would be interested.

The invited email went like this:

Hello!

As you probably know, I am in the final stretches of my MFA course, and I have to complete a dissertation (also known as the "special study"). I have chosen to look at the perception of truth, fact and how it is conveyed to an audience...this is where I need your help.

I am about to create a small questionnaire - asking about your perceptions of what truth "means", what truth "is" and how you can trust information, how information is conveyed, how bias, factual or emotive is information (in the context of news for example). I am also interested in your perception of the scope of "truth", how close to personal experience does your understanding of "truth" lie? etc....

I am writing to ask if you would be interested in completing a questionnaire? if so, I will send it when I have finalised it. (Within the next week June 11th - 18th).
I hope you can help, I value your input and help (why else would I be writing to you?!)
thanks!
Phil.
I am quite excited by the positive response. It is great to know that providing people with some intellectual stimulation, on a subject that I am sure most people have an opinion on has been successful.

Now all I have to do is write a questionnaire...which is actually harder than I'd originally thought. I have started to jot ideas down, but they all seem far to open, or vague at the moment. I have looked at a few websites in search of help on "writing a good questionnaire", but I recognise that most of the sites are considering that the questionnaires are for market research, or "quantifiable", scientific reasons...and I am looking for opinions and reasoning, not "marks out of ten on what you think honesty is".

This will make my dissection of "answers" impossible to compare / contrast...but, I don't think I can make a data set / representation out of opinions...perhaps I can (or pretend to)...a confusing work of art, based on "apparent fact"...

I need to get writing the questions, I've "promised" I’ll have it ready for "early next week"

Gathering opinions...

Before I write a lengthy questionnaire, I need to find out if people (I know and don't) are willing to participate. I've drafted a probing email, for my friends and colleagues, as well as an "open invitation" on a local music discussion forum. In one day, I've had about a 90% positive response from my email list, 19 people from the "open invitation" have contacted me, saying they would be interested.

The invited email went like this:

Hello!

As you probably know, I am in the final stretches of my MFA course, and I have to complete a dissertation (also known as the "special study"). I have chosen to look at the perception of truth, fact and how it is conveyed to an audience...this is where I need your help.

I am about to create a small questionnaire - asking about your perceptions of what truth "means", what truth "is" and how you can trust information, how information is conveyed, how bias, factual or emotive is information (in the context of news for example). I am also interested in your perception of the scope of "truth", how close to personal experience does your understanding of "truth" lie? etc....

I am writing to ask if you would be interested in completing a questionnaire? if so, I will send it when I have finalised it. (Within the next week June 11th - 18th).
I hope you can help, I value your input and help (why else would I be writing to you?!)
thanks!
Phil.

I am quite excited by the positive response. It is great to know that providing people with some intellectual stimulation, on a subject that I am sure most people have an opinion on has been successful.

Now all I have to do is write a questionnaire...which is actually harder than I'd originally thought. I have started to jot ideas down, but they all seem far to open, or vague at the moment. I have looked at a few websites in search of help on "writing a good questionnaire", but I recognise that most of the sites are considering that the questionnaires are for market research, or "quantifiable", scientific reasons...and I am looking for opinions and reasoning, not "marks out of ten on what you think honesty is".

This will make my dissection of "answers" impossible to compare / contrast...but, I don't think I can make a data set / representation out of opinions...perhaps I can (or pretend to)...a confusing work of art, based on "apparent fact"...

I need to get writing the questions, I've "promised" I’ll have it ready for "early next week"

MFA starts...HERE

Today is the start of my MFA…PROPERLY.
I need to start generating research. I decide to create a questionnaire that will probe people’s perception of “truth”, how it is they obtain and filtrate information, where sources matter, where context and scope matter…
Firstly I decide to write to a few people to ask if they would be willing to participate in a questionnaire…and out of 15 email, I instantly get 9 back. Which makes me think that I am onto a winner, I then start to cast my net further – emailing more people, I specifically think of demographics, I start to target my “audience” with ideas of nationality, religious and political opinions…I in no way want to direct outcomes (I have no idea what the responses will be anyway), but I do know that I want all bases covered.

I also start to open the possibility of “unknown parameters” within the responses, by requesting participants from a local web forum www.aberdeen-music.com, where I have a great response from an initial post by many “anonymous” people – I have no control over my trust in these people who are eager to be a part of my research. I am starting to see a possible angle of research, where “known” and “unknown” participants potentially have the freedom to lie when filling in the questionnaire. I do not want to pre-empt the outcomes, but I have a suspicion that my “anonymous” group (people who do not know me, nor I them) can potentially respond with complete fabricated lies – and I would have no basis to disbelieve them, as I have never met or been a part of their lives – whereas the “known” participants, I have some semblance of knowledge of their lives, and ideologies...giving me some frame of reference to doubt or accept what it is they tell me.

The questionnaire needs to be considered and written, to create the right conditions for the participants to convey to me, what it is that they understand and perceive, when thinking of “truth”, “honesty” etc.

I aim to ask questions in several areas of personal, public, community, national and international ramifications of information dissemination and presentation. I need to be aware of brevity, a questionnaire that is too long, will turn people off from filling it in! If the questionnaire is not “deep” enough, I will have no qualitative information to base my research on!

I am also toying with a section of the questionnaire which will be collated anonymously – I would like to obtain deeply personal information from the participants and let them know that specific questions will NEVER be associated with the respondent – giving them the freedom to be absolutely honest with their answers (sexual, legal, desires etc). These statements might form a striking body of work, exploring human truths, honest wants and needs…

I go to bed after collating several lists of agreed participants – my brain is spinning. I can not get to sleep and spend 4 hours thinking about potential avenues of discourse, research and possibilities…I think about how the dissertation can be presented (alphabetically, graduating from black and white to white and black, lists of titles to which I would respond in paragraphs to…) I think about the MfA show (sculptures and installations that might appear from my research, the use of anonymous “online personas” as badges, invite lists of participants, how these participants could become part of the work “on the night”, directive posters, signs and information…) I think of the expansion of my “hearing aid for a shed” work (using this to convey confession through the trust of given anonymity) I think of diagrams that explain the physical and psychological systems in place, when using the “installation”, I think of a name for the emerging imagined work “This machine will change lives” which I morph and change into “This mechanism can change lives” by arguing with myself the semantics of the choice of words. Machine and mechanism I mull over for a long time – it will not be a “machine” (a mouth piece, a tube and a speaker, situated in a far off room – a confessor and an audience) this will be a ‘mechanism’ – an opportunity for systems and processes to come to life through a physical and mental application of action. The physical process is for the “confession” to be spoken into a mouthpiece, which travels down a tube to a room where it is broadcast to an audience (“unknown” to the confessor). The mental mechanisms are far more complex, the necessity of the “confessor” to muster the courage to speak a confession (or “truth”) into the mouthpiece, the choice to tell a truth or a lie, to believe they are safe in being anonymous when confessing, the “audience” believing that what they hear is true, false, fiction fact, do they “care” are they affected (emotionally) by what they hear? The opportunity to set up partnerships to “spy” on who is confessing (reporting / communicating between people, organising “spy and listener”) – trust dynamics…so many parameters and possibilities that could arise from two cones and a tube…and a little instruction from me. The argument to change “will” to “can” was simple, “will” implies that the mechanism of confession has an absolute function, that the confessor’s life MUST change, because of their actions, the listeners life MUST change because of what they hear - where as “can” offers possibility, not absolutes – an essential in art, if we EXPECT things to happen, then why do it? If we already “know” the outcome, there must be no point in proceeding with a course of action.

I think I drift off at around 4 am…and I still don’t think I remembered all I thought of last night…no unseen scribbling or whispered annotation would have been able to capture my blunderbuss of thought last night, so one can only hope that the mechanism of remembering is actually a filtration too – evicting the mundane or forgettable ideas out – survival of the fittest…ideas.

Special Study evolution

Since talking to Iain about my change in scope, I have started to think more about the use of technology, information and intended use by people of these ideas and methodologies… Iain and I looked at several examples of information presentation in an art context.

Iain asks me several important questions about the formation of my research and creation of artworks. What is it I wish to produce? (Experiential works – to create feelings or ideas based around my perceptions of information interface? Explanatory works – instructional works to convey my position and understanding. A subtle difference but an important difference. I would like to think I could present the two forms of work, but bear in mind that I must distinguish the difference. I feel that I could produce works that will create situations that make people question their perceptions of how information is presented to them via media and mediums. I also know I want to inform and instruct (without being prescriptive) through written work my understanding of what truth means, how information can inform, confuse, polarise and change people’s perception of the world.

I come home and start to document my thought process – a diary as a flow diagram, to see if I can create a visual representation of how my ideas arise and change. I realise the magnitude of trying to map a thought process – this could be a work in itself. It’s amazing to see how thoughts do change, morph and evolve over a matter of seconds. I see leaps from one subject to another. Where do the stimuli come from, in order to make one thing turn into the other? Experience, education, memory and association all contribute to the evolution of imagination – mentally turning objects over in the mind within context, out with context and juxtaposing known “givens” to create new “realities” (if just in imagination). I have a large mountain to climb, but I feel confident I know what I am doing now.

Proforma discussion

Today we assemble and discuss the coming months of our MfA course – semester 3. We are given timetables and discuss what happens when, how things will happen and problems that may arise, that we need to address now (Like the use / rental of technology / access to the technicians etc).

We also present our proforma for special study, to the whole group. When I start to read mine, it morphs and changes as I think about it…I was quite shocked to hear me omit most of the “crux” of what I had written, the exploration of natural experience through technology, and vice versa…I start to talk about the exploration of “truth and trust” within the context of information presentation (media, directive information etc). Steve Hollingsworth jumps upon the use of the word “truth”, and has a real problem, as we all know there is no “absolute truth”, but how can I use words to describe that which I seek to explore to be “right or wrong”. I know my approach to the special study is to explore the perception of “truth”, “trust”, “honesty” and the feelings that arise from these very words. They exist, people use them, so it is fair to use these words when exploring and presenting the potential ramifications of them.

Because of my sudden change in scope of the area of research, I arrange a meeting with Iain to discuss a more accurate proposal of the special study. I discuss the new angle of exploration, about information presentation to inform people, about the use of such information ethically, constructively, directionally and honestly. Again, all the words I use to describe the areas of research will themselves be looked at individually, to try and accurately pin down what they “actually” mean, and why they should or should not be used when talking about information.

listening to : clutch - blast tyrant : sepultura - arise