back again! - start of semester 3

Hello,
It's been a while.
I've had my marks back, and they were ok, I've passed, which is great, but my marks were down on semester 1, the only one in the class to "get worse"...but, I must confess, I feel quite lucky to get two 4's - I know I did not put enough in to semester two, as I did for semester one.

This has made me realise, I need to far more committed to semester three, I mean REALLY COMMITTED. I've spoken to Gabi about the need to be at uni more, to focus wholely on my studies over the next three months. If I don't, there will not be much point in doing this MfA. The mission is to pass, but also to pass with flying colours. I need to show that I am justified in taking this course, and not just having it as a fantastic year off work.

anyway, I am about to embark on completing the proforma - to define what my special study will be about. I have been thinking about the relationship between using hi-tech and low-tech forms of communication to explore the relationship of our place in the natural world.

listening to : slayer - season in the abyss : lauren hill - the mis-education of lauren hill

Life drawing 2

After a day of working on my critical analysis and reflection for the studio practice hand in (next monday), I head to Susies for round two of life drawing.

After the fear of last week (not having drawn "properly" in such a long time), I head to mill farm with a bit more confidence. I was pleased to see even the development and improvement through last weeks time, this week was no different.

Again, the five minute poses do not relax me, I get tense and worried (concious) of the time slipping away. Again, I deftfully put down about 3 lines, that don't look like much - I am dissapointed.
We get our first stab at a 30 minute poase, and David (the model) is excellent, I start to relax, and get intot he drawing again. Using the charcoal is so forgiving, the lines are more expressive, non technical compared to a sharp pencil, I relax with the medium ( I used to dread it, a nice sharp 2b used to do for me).
I've even learned (or forced myself) to draw the entire form, before getting stuck on "detail". Old life drawing used to be faces, with a few thin lines spreading from the neck...now, they are explansive, using all the paper. It's amazing that even the unmeasured (on purpose) drawings "make sense".

Susie is using wax "blindly" and then applying washes of watercolour - highly expressive and the complete antithisis of my analytical approach. The outcomes of all the artists (alan florrence, Ana Ladd, Susie Hunt and myself) are completely different, it's amazng to see the array of styles and techniques. It's also comforting to know that we all work well under ouwn own pace and methods - no competition or posturing. We all evaluaet (kindly) each others work. I've particuarly enjoyed talking to alan about his work, he by his own admission is "no drawer, kain" - but some of his work is highly spontaneaus and lively, but some laboured and over worked (he's a smudger, and I said that I prefer the areas without smudging, but he keeps doing it!)

An enjoyable and relaxing (in the end) night!

I nearly run out of petrol on the way home. but dont...thankfully.

Listening to : the bug - pressure : ministry - Side Trax (compilation of side projects, rev co, 1000 homo djs, pailhead etc)

Handed in written work

Well, Susie, Mary and I head in to uni together, to hand in our written work. We don't go to much into showing each other our essays...it's too late for that (!).

The ladies are worried about the volume of written work I have to show, and there is me thinking I was thin on the ground (mind you, the old addage of "quality not quantity" could duff me up...holdon, it's quality and quantity! (honest)).

We also agree to hook up on thursday to help tidy up the room (without going too close to the painting hell that is the end of the room...)

I head to the library while susie and mary go swimming, and find many interesting things in some design magazines (eye, creative review). I particularly liked the iWant design feature and Kim Hiorthoy talking about LP / CD design.

I took a photo of the iwant design, I thought that Gabi would particularly like it (and did).

I also got a phonecall from a rather happy deputy head of kingswells primary school - they have had such brilliant feedback and exposure because of the sculpture classes (a parents night was particularly memorable she said, as most of the parents loved what their children had learned and brought home...)

anyway, the upshot was, she wanted me to come back and hold several more classes, for p4's this time...I agreed and will be holding 3 classes in one day (?!) on wednesday the 30th of May...for the "eco week" in Kingswells primary school.
brilliant news.

listening to : godspeed you black emporer! - F# A# (Infinity) : Elliot smith - new moon

Finished essay

Well, I finished my essay for the semester 2 hand-in. From the guddle that was my "imaginary exhibition - quadrum", I'd completely changed tack, and written a far more traditional response, based on my experience and thoughts on the seminars I've attended. Iain Irving was instrumental in solidifying and directing me to this descision. He liked the idea of the "imaginary show", but felt that this task was not the place for such an Idea. After reading what I had, and what I have now, I completely agree. The essay spiraled into 3000 words, to which Iain said not to worry about. It's amazing to see how quickly words add up. The brevety and narrow scope one must impose is phenominal to get a point across, and argue it. (including citations etc!)

Listenign to : OM - variations on a theme : OM - conference of the birds : PSI performer - remixes (scorn, surgeon, 310 etc)

bastard busses

Susie and I head in to Gray's for 10am, to find Mary talking essays to Iain, we try to join in on a group discussion, but Iain deftly steers us into one on one's...so we wait for Mary to finish...2 hours later, Susie is up for review, and she needs to leave at 1.30 (for her class), when 1.30 rolls round, Susie leaves and Iain goes for his deserved late lunch.

2pm, and I nervously showed Iain my essay so far, I was worried that he would criticise it for it's over simplicity, or over reaching huge questions in my introduction (what is art? what is it for? and who is it for?).

Needless to say, Iain tentatively starts reading, he takes his time, pouring over every word and nuance, he often chuckles and mumbles "yeah"...I take that as a good sign! - we often break into discussion about the essay, about the questions I've raised, which spiral off into our usual talks about perceptions, context and tastes, always parabolising our points with music analogies (I'd found that Iain used to work in a small indi record shop when he was a lad...just like I did, we had some great stories to swap (and similarities in experience!) I do like a good natter with Iain, we can talk about babies, kids and tunes in one breath then existentialism and contextual analysis in another, if only we had a pint...)

The criticisms he gives me, are that the intro to the essay is weak on validation from external source / proof (it's mostly based on my opinion (gathered from experience, but not conveyed solidly enough)) I need to read : Believing is Seeing by Mary Anne Staniszewski (ISBN-13: 978-0140168242). Iain tells me of Staniszewski's points reflect my ideas, of art's values, purpose etc. (I take it out from the library after my meeting...so I need to read it before I finish my essay...before Monday... ho ho) I also need to watch my language, when I lapse into conversational style, or sarcasm, I need to keep the tone professional and scholarly, (which is "just" a case of translating my "point" into something more considered, or factual). I also have to be aware of the use of names, I've dropped into first name basis ("jo and tom" - "craig and Ross")...so keep it to surnames, and I'll be fine. (this, my blog, it aint).

I also need to understand the Vancouver referencing system too, when I use quotes, I need to correctly reference them in my document, to validate it, to add gravity to my arguments (after all, it is an essay for an academic response).

The positives are that the essay is concise, it is eloquent, when I discuss the seminars I've been to, again, I just need to liberally sprinkle in some referenced back up).

I felt rather relived, no drastic re-write, no starting from scratch. It's good to hear some criticism along with some "good points", always more motivational than being talked down to.

My phone ran out of battery, I only had spare change enough for one phone call (which I got the house answering machine), and change only enough for one bus ride...so I walked to Hazelhead from Gray's, that took a good hour and a half, only to wait for one of Aberdeen's wonderful busses, with drivers that brim with joy and hapiness, in their job of serving the public...I get to a buss stop, wait 20 mins (in rushour, in the rain)...20 mins...in rushour? is that because the oh so helpful "park and ride" accomodates the people who need to commute in rush hour, "every 15 mins". next, the joyful driver (helpful as ever) (me) "is it 1.30 to kingswells?" (driver) nods. (me) "thank you sir" ---------------
I fucking hate busses and the fuckers that drive them. they are expensive (no wonder no one uses them - put 1/30 in my car, and I am sure you can travel further, more comfortable, faster and to the door. "ah, but the poluition" piss off. London has a brilliant system, cheap, frequent and clean. why can't we? I'd use them more often....

rant over.
listening to : kyuss - queens of the stone age : various - min to max (richie hawtin compilation)

life drawing

I was invited by Susie hunt to go to her studio to try life drawing (it's been approx 15 years since I last really executed a life drawing...)

anyway, It was quite an amazing experience, my heart was actually racing. Susie had set the "rules" to get warmed up, we'd (4 of us) do several 5 minute drawings. It's amazing how short 5 mins is, when holding a stick of messy charcoal. I'd actually drawn 2 lines in 5 mins...good lines, expressive lines, but I was very surprised at the quickness.

We'd worked on about four 5 min poses, and my hand got used to drawing again, some lines and drawings were ok, but most were rusty, I was battling with the need to get specific, to put down bold, finalised lines, regardless of proportion etc...

at one point, I started to doubt my ability, scrubbing and rubbing out lines that just didn't belong on the page, making a scrubby rubby mess, which furthered my mood...(like a black smudge itself!)

we then embarked upon some 20-40 min poses, and this is where I started to relax, and take my time, I tried varying techniques, pencil, charcoal, white pencil on black paper etc, and my hand started to flow in a way I was happy.

My last drawing (posted) I felt was a success, some areas are well executed, the "whole" doesn't quite work, technically incorrect around the left shoulder, but not bad for not doing it after 15 years.

One great aspect of the evening was the focus on looking, the pleasure of following my eye / brain / hand. I'd commented it was a pleasure to watch a line trace round a page, guided by my hand to reveal a drawing that "worked". It did become natural, like I understood the rules of what to do, like riding a bike I guess. (much like me starting skateboarding again, I might not be the best in the world, but I can still rattle out the skills when needed), a confidence boost in all departments.

Nice surprise

From yesterday, I'd talked to Iain about my worries of my "quadrum" idea, when I'd started writing this "fiction" it just didn't sit right with me, it didn't seem like me writing it, it was forced, trite and thouroughly rediculous...so I wobbled. Or should I say, I critically analised my creative output, and realised it was shite.

I'd received a fantastic email from Iain, calming me down, and being very constructive in what I should be doing with this essay. Write about my perceptions, understanings and experience, based on the seminars (after all, that is what the task is!), write about my work, in context to the other practices I have seen, write about shows and curated events I have witnessed.

So, I started from scratch and ended up writing 500 words as an intro to my position, my nderstanding of the "art world". I'll post the finished article...when it's finished.

We (Susie, Mary, Jonathan and I) headded to Mary's to discuss what we had all written so far. Jonathan's (finished) essay is a masterpiece of elloquence, brevity, insight, contextualisation and good old brilliant English. (that is wot is good to me n youz). My only comment to him, is that most of his references rely upont the reader knowing who it is he's talking about, he can deftly drop in names, reference spcific works, but doesn't quite flesh out the reasons as to why he has used them, but, we were only read snippets, so on the whole, the essay itself might answer those concerns...Mary has her usual riddle approach...it's hard to describe her style, it's like a story, or a tale loaded with metaphor and double meaning, it's a pleasure to listen to , but sometimes I don't get the points, knowing chuckles from Susie and Jonathan at specific points make me realise, I am missing the point. I love the language, I love the dream like quality of her writing, it's a pleasure to listen to, but is it factual? (does it have to be?! - so many points of view...I wouldn't like to be marking these!) Susie...has written bugger all, so I feel better for "only" writing 500 words.

I read my intro out, and I get a few responses that make me feel like I've got the point. Like I've actually hit a mark in the realm of MfA thinking (we're always our own harshest critics)...The biggest comment is that Mary thinks it sounds "chippy" (angry, or bitter, cynical in some way). I didn't get that myself, but I wrote it, so I can only see it for what I think it is (funny thing perception!))

ANYYYYWAY...we all left feeling confident, Jonathan and Mary, for the positive we all agreed were good writing excersises, Susie - as she'd taken a lot from hearing how we're all aproaching the task, and me, because I got the vibe that I'd hit upon a decent "interesting" area to discuss...

Gabi, Poppy and I popped along to the Aberdeen Artists opening, to quickly zoom round for a swatch...the nice surprise is that Susie and I's video had been given a "reccomendation", which is fantastic!

so, onwards and upwards...

listening to : sun Ra - space is the place (thanks jonathan)

PS, The election results were a shambles, because of the electronic counting. Who'd have thought it? (oh, I did yesterday!)