Crit with Steve H

I have a crit with Steve Hollingsworth today. He seems to be far more relaxed and positive when dealing with us (the MFA students) now. I start my usual bumbling, nervous chat about my work, without a solid plan to talk about (I thought I did, but when I sit with him, it’s always quite a nervy thing to do)…I talk about the trumpet for a shed, and how I’d like to use these as conduits for discourse between rooms, I’d like to link up the others work, to a central “hub”, so people can listen in to criticisms and comments about work etc – the removed, eavesdropping enabling the participate to question their thoughts on what they have already seen, or are about to see, swayed by opinions from others… I start to talk of collating data from various inputs, and re-interpreting them “from the hub”…All of these ideas based on “truth and trust” – within a technological context, which steve seems interested in, offering suggestions of how and where inputs could come from.

I then show him the ideas in my sketch book I had the day after I last spoke to him, all reactions to news and information (not specifically a critique on technology, but that of media) – This seems to stimulate him far more than the previous conversation, he even drops in that the previous ideas were “limited” and “parochial” (why didn’t he say that before? – again, more evidence he’s promoting, and positive about our directions). I get through about 4 of the pages (there are 10 in total) of my sketches for possible installations – all of which Steve nods and approves. His comments are that I seem to have all the raw materials to start working with, I need to solidify and form these sketches into a reality, so I can them react to them (I couldn’t agree more). He is particularly keen to see the juxtaposition of old Vs new forms of media delivery (newspapers Vs internet). I have talked about the change in scope of how people expect to see news, how people are far more reliant on the web for “up to the minute news”, whereas newspapers have become almost obsolete (in the capacity to tell the news), they have become organs for opinion and advertisement, lifestyle and trivia (the mirror is “the official paper to the big brother house”). Steve picks up on 2 of the works I have shown, the “carcass” inspired (Steve’s crushed car) ball of newspapers: a dead weight of redundant news. He likes the idea of a massive solid ball of “old news”, juxtaposed with my other installation of data projections from up to the minute news sites, onto “ethereal” surfaces (water, smoke etc). I also need to explore the use of raw data, within a programming context – experimentation with live, unknown data would lead to several experiments to which I wouldn’t have a clue what the outcome would be. Problem is, there are no internet connections in my room (I speak to John Welsh later about installing a live port). All in all, Steve is happy with the direction of my work, he just wants to see it solidifying. I talk briefly (and show my few words) for the dissertation, he doesn’t offer much criticism, but does warn me to keep the discourse within a fine art context. He does say “note the historical and philosophical influences, but stick to fine art” – sound advice I thought. A good day with Steve is worth its weight in gold...no, make that platinum. I also give steve a CD comp...see what he thinks of:

beauty pill - mule on the plane
mr bungle - pink cigarette
scorn - sleep when home
techno animal - monophobic
porch - bulbous head
shellac - wingwalker
iain ballamy - julienne
mike patton - insect hororscopes
jamie lidell - game for fools
bjork - innocence
faxed head - bring the dead boy peace
fret - bike
elliot smith - LA
boom bip & doseone - art saved my life
burial - night bus
dead brothers - entre chein et loup
chris clarke - indigo optimus
1 speed bike - the day that mauro ran over el
battles - tras

I started pasting the newspapers I bought the other day onto the trumpet. I have decided to paste the tabloids on the outside of the cone – I’ve been thinking of my position in regards to tabloids Vs “broadsheets”, and I feel that tabloids are loud, brash and far from “my voice”, so they go on the outside of the cone – highly visible and on the other side of where my voice will be broadcast (when talking / speaking through the trumpet). I will paste the broadsheets inside the trumpet (tomorrow).

I have also set up the two video projections of me writing in the nude to show the other MFA students. I have some very flattering comments about the honesty and integrity of the work, Susie and Mary seemed quite moved by my openness and presentation of my feelings. When I look at this work I feel confident about it. This work has come from a reaction to the debilitating criticism that has haunted me for a while now : “It looks like you are trying to make something that looks like art”. I have constantly had this ringing in my ears, whenever I think about “making something”. After several conversations with tutors, I get the feeling they are “expecting me” to create some form of graphics, and use them within a fine art context – that’s fine, I aim to do work like this – the exploration of information conveyance in a graphic format (in news etc)…but there is also a side of me that wants to “make”, that wants to create installations, sculptures and other forms of art that do not include “my graphic skills” – and It is was the simple mistake of me proclaiming that I “am not a practicing artist” (at the start of the year, when I had no confidence to call myself “an artist”) that has given the tutors this idea that I am “fraudulent” if I attempt to create a sculpture: I get the feeling that If I’d proclaimed myself as a sculpture, creating anything that “looks sculptural” would have been less critically scrutinised with the knowledge that “this is what he does, therefore it must be art” – and not “oh, it looks like he’s trying to make art”. Needless to say, I needed to get my head out of my arse, and just start making things, ensure that the forms I create inform my language, my artistic vocabulary. It is my responsibility to add credibility to the work – and to do this, I need to “just create” – once something exists, I can then discount or accept this (“create to critique”). I will embrace everything I do as “my artistic practice” and will refuse to stick to someone else’s preconception of what they expect from me. From my inaction and fear of creating work – I have created a strong and powerful reaction. I have noted that this work is “audience specific”, in that it is a direct response to (what I feel) is unfair (or badly put) criticism to my developing practice.